Weekend Update

My handy dandy stats tracker seems to indicate that the nonsense coming out of my mouth is picking up steam this week. That's pretty funny since there's nothing of value here, just me talking smack about people who have the jobs I want. I suspect that people are hitting the search engines looking for factual and useful information on the new releases, but instead they got me. Well I'm sorry about that, but hey, at least you didn't pay $11 bucks to be disappointed by me, I'm doing it for free.

Kong Kong Kong Kong Kong Kong Kong. Not only will saying that shamelessly help me with the search engines, it's also foremost on my mind this past week, and probably far into the future. The $200 million they spent making it must be good for something, and apparently it's pissing me off. For some reason, this movie is still making money. It has already grossed $400 million worldwide. This makes me a sad panda. With that disgustingly large budget that could buy you 22.2% of a Los Angeles class nuclear submarine, it probably would have taken just about 400 to break even. From here on out, this movie is close to or in the black. While this is certainly frustrating for me, since I was rooting for it to fail so badly that I could buy my own piece of studio that made it in the bankruptcy firesale, it's still well within my predictions.

I seem to recall saying "It'll probably break even with costs when it hits DVD". I was off a tad, it's going to make a small profit while in the theaters, but it's definitely getting blown away by Narnia. This movie has been in the theaters for 5 days longer yet is consistently pulling in more money than Kong is. Sadly, that bank robber cost damn near as much as Kong did, and so to is making little profit for it's studio.

I really don't know what else to say about these two movies. If they had reigned in the budgets, things would be looking a whole lot better for these guys. But hey, look at the bright side, it's a new year which means you can get a fresh start losing money on even more bad remakes!

Bloodrayne and Hostel open up today, both in roughly 1900-2000 theaters, and Munich is hitting 1000 extra theaters. It should be evident really freakin quick if either of these movies is going to fail, but Munich has been around the block now and I can count pretty good with my fingers, so let's do some projections.

Munich cost $70 million to make. It's made $17 million domestic in 13 days showing in about 530 theaters. That's about $2,467 per theater per day average. Ramp that up to 1500, assuming everyone that has seen it goes to see it again (yeah, right), and you get somewhere around $48 million 13 days from now. Since that's never going to happen, I'd put it closer to $15-20 million, maybe as low as $10-15. I'll come back in 13 days and report on my psychic abilities. But figure it does haul in $48m, that's $24m after theaters take their share. Add in the $17m it's made so far and you're looking at a best-case-scenario of $32.5m for the studio. That's not even half what it cost to make. Whoops, somebody is going to have to give their Lear Jet back, and you can't have mine.

I don't see anything big coming out until the 20th, when Underworld: Evolution stinks up the theaters. Won't that be fun.

Wolf Creek has been out 11 days, probably sucks, has nobody in it, and it's probably making a bigger profit than Kong has. It's getting terrible grades on boxofficemojo.com, but at least it's not 3 hours long.

Syriana was a bizarre flick. I never could tell from the trailers just what the hell it was about, and it kind of looks like I wasn't alone. It's been out over a month and is looking at $40m domestic on a $50m budget. It's not even half way there. Hey, I have a suggestion: Don't put George Clooney and Matt Damon in it so the budget is $15-20m and doesn't make me want hurt rich people anymore.

Walk the Line, now there's a flick I really wanted to see. It's about $36m into profit and still going. Too bad it had that dual-role Writer/Director. I hate that.

Aeon Bomb is only making like $27,000 a day. Hahahaha.

North Country is only making like $7,000 a day. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I'm really tired, leave me alone. No really, please. I just want to sleep. Can't you let me sleep? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME? CAN'T YOU SEE I TOO HAVE FEELINGS? *crashed out*